We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
