He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
