he shaved USA in his pubs
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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