Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
