i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
