Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
