just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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