I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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