But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
