I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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