I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
