Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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