wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
