my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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