You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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