why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
