It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
