Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
