Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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