god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
