i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
