DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
