I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
