He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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