No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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