it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
