Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Moan for me like Helen Keller
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
