That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
