my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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