I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You can't special order awesome
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
