YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize