if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize