I showed him my bush... on skype.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
