nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
