that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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