is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You took a bar mat shot.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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