Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
