Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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