Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
