I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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