Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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