I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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