i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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