No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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