It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
