And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
