I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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