That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
