what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
