i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
