If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
