Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
