hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
where are you?
Hypothermia
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
