dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
